Fighting fair doesn't come easy.

In any relationship dynamic, disagreements are bound to occur. What is the difference, however, between a healthy discussion and an argument? Situations such as this provide the path to growth and the path to destruction. Either way, we're starting with the understanding that things are going to change. Let's explore both pathways.

The path to growth:

In this approach, both parties move forward with respect at the foundation. There's a mutual desire to understand the perspective of the other individual. Not simply to say that you hear what they'd like to do with respect to the disagreement, but an actual understanding of how they came to adopt that particular mindset. This approach requires vulnerability, humility, and a willingness to learn. Rather than a focus of being right, it follows the belief that there's an opportunity to grow individually and as a unit. It requires the ego to not get involved as we feel like our internal beliefs need our protection. The path to growth ultimately provides us with a win-win outcome as we use our individual experiences to create something even stronger with another individual. This type of teamwork provides a foundational alteration in how future challenges and endeavors are managed. Growth is always the way to fulfillment.

The path to destruction:

In this approach, both parties move forward selfishly determined to get things to go their way. Respect is out of the window while a more primal approach takes over to get us what we feel we need or are owed. It's a battle of the ego more than a difference of opinion. A certain stubbornness takes over, and any level of respect, concern, or appreciation burns away. It can be toxic and abusive in the extreme because the rules are no longer in place. This means that anything that must be said or done is a possibility to win. What is winning, though after we've manipulated someone's mind who will never look at us in the same way again? We're left with what we want, but the other person continues to hold a grudge. We come out "on top" with a partner who is afraid of how we get when there's a disagreement. The outcome is what we were fighting for, but it also means that some things are lost. I mean, respect was non-existent to begin with, but it certainly wasn't strengthened by this interaction. Destruction is always the road to restriction.

Which route are you taking?